The first approach to a quantitative model to calculate nucleophilicity of alkanes is reported. A statistical treatment is applied to the analysis of the reactivity of twenty‐nine different alkane C‐H bonds toward in situ generated metal‐carbene electrophiles. The correlation of the recently reported experimental reactivity with two different sets of descriptors comprising a total of 86 parameters is studied, resulting in the Quantitative DEscriptor‐based Alkane Nucleophilicity (Q‐DEAN) Model It consists of an equation with only six structural/topological descriptors that reproduces the relative reactivity of the alkane C‐H bonds, which can be calculated only from the schematic drawing of the alkane and a simple set of sums.